Herstory

I used to be an UNKNOWN,
as you did.
We passed each other in the halls,
oblivious of our impending connection.
Then you noticed my comments
and engaged me in intelligent conversation,
which was unexpected and appreciated.
You came to visit me at work,
trying to find a place in my busy life.
I was blind,
content with where I was
until fate stepped in.
I took a desperate risk
and asked you a dangerous question...
You said yes,
emphatically!
and it brought us closer.
We spent a day together
and knew we would be.
We spent a night together
and suddenly we were.
I became a GIRLFRIEND
and we became the consummate couple,
whispered about and admired,
joked about and envied.
I sat on your lap
and you held me close as we danced.
You rested your hand upon my knee
as we drove to your friend's house.
You grinned at me across the dinner table
as you talked with my parents
like they were your own.
We became one,
and I became whole.


Then, a sudden change:
a forced departure,
a struggle, and a triumph.
An "I love you",
finally.
I accept and I calm,
until it changes again.
She is your comfort
while I am away,
or at least that's your excuse.
A drunken mistake, you said,
and I thought.
But it morphed into something more,
something constant,
something unacceptable,
because now I'm a CONVENIENCE.


A silence from you,
an apathy.
A struggle within me,
a decision and a conversation,
confused and rambling.
A break, some time to think.
Then a realization
and resolution reached.
A confrontation, the first.
Perhaps the last,
hopefully the only.
You think I'm wrong,
I know I can't be.
You want me to think some more,
but I've thought enough.
Too much.


Now it's time for you to think.
Now it's time for you to make a decision.
Now it's time for you to take some action.
Figure out what you did.
Figure out who you are.
Figure out what you want.
Figure out who you need.
Make some changes,
or I'll be HISTORY.