Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Prison of Perception

How incomprehensible it is that I'm here right now.
You're here... but you're one of them.
One of those people.
One of those people with a perfect face and an I'm-made-to-pleasure-you body,
and an endless vocabulary of laughable quips.
One of those people who can enter a room and get noticed without effort, 
who can belong without trying.
At the same time you seem to meet new people,
and yet to already know everyone.
But tonight, you're here with me... 
one of those other people.
I'm the person in the corner,
quietly sipping my boring drink
as my head bounces to the music.
My face is far from perfect, my body has pleasured few,
and my quips are slightly amusing... sometimes.
I meet new people when I'm lucky, and usually through someone like you.
Someone with the perfect haircut,
an adorable (disarming) smile,
and the right pheromones.
I watch you move through the crowd like you move through life,
people making room for you. 
Stopping only if, when and where you please. 
Making conversation. Doing whatever you want.
Glancing at the person in the corner and giving them the thrill of the month.
Thanks for giving me my thrill,
thanks for letting me watch from this corner of my life.
Thanks for showing me what I could have, what I could be doing...
how bad my timing is, how awkwardly I handle situations.
Thanks for letting me taste the freedom I still long for, and yet
am terrified by.
For it seems that in my case,
complete freedom seems to come with a certain loneliness.
As much as I yearn to walk along side you through your world,
I know it would mean losing mine,
it would mean leaving behind something comfortable,
and I like being comfortable.
We all do, right?
Or is it just scared little corner people like me?
You seem to do just fine. 
Or, maybe that's why we're here together tonight.
Maybe that's why people like you glance at people like me
safe and snug in our corners.
Maybe you crave what I have. How ironic would that be...
if the prison I long to escape seems the exit out of yours.
Maybe we could save each other...
Here, take my hand...
I'll come out of my corner if
you come out of yours.
Together, we'll have the best of both worlds.

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