Monday, March 7, 2011

Mixed Up

Mixed up feelings
and fucked up thoughts
seem to go hand in hand these days.

But you know that
better than anyone,
for those were your gifts to me.

I mean, 
why give anyone flowers or jewelry
when you can give them a piece of your mind
whether they want it or not?

Who knows,
maybe I did then.
Want it, I mean.
Maybe I yearned to become one...
although only God knows why.

But hey, I'm stuck with it now.
So I'll deal.
No regrets, right?
Yeah, right.
You want me to give up my "what ifs", too?
Jeez, that would make it easy.

And nothing humans do
can ever be easy.
I guess we feel
we don't have enough challenges yet.

So we give each other
these mixed up feelings
and fucked up thoughts,
wrapped in tinted cellophane,
sealed in sticky tape.

And then we leave each other
alone in silence
to unwrap them by ourselves
with no scissors.
And to assemble them
in some type of order
with no directions.

I think they should come
with age restrictions.
Something like: "50 and up"
'cause a mid-life crisis
shouldn't be allowed to happen
until mid-life, don't ya think?

Well, I do.
I think and I feel
these mixed up feelings and fucked up thoughts
that you gave me.

I try to take them out
one by one
to examine them
more closely, carefully.

But it doesn't work that way.
They overflow and carry me off...
I am surrounded and engulfed
by these mixed up feelings
and fucked up thoughts
that you left me.

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